The F Word

Am slowly starting to figure out that fat is not something you can get rid of permanently. The news is grim but unsurprising. Oh if I were given a dollar for every time I'd been told that the simple way to lose weight is to simply stop eating - I'd have paid our mortgage in no time.

It's not that simple. We fat people, with some exception, eat as much or as little as thin people. Fat is a genetic trait more than a temporary physical state. I wish people would realise this and stop trying to change us. Life would be so much easier if thin people would shut the fuck up, already!

To prove this point, I shall henceforth faithfully publish what I'm eating for the next few months. I won't lie. I won't embroider the truth. Read this and tell me honestly if this is much more than an average person eats.

I'm 5'10" and weight probably somewhere in the 300's, I don't know. I'm still agile enough to do normal everyday things like walk and run and I've been known to dance with the rest of them when a good song comes on. The only difference, I say, between me and you is my size.

Oh yes, and last but not least, at my last health check my blood sugar, cholesterol and blood pressure is normal and always has been. I've been a fat girl since birth. With the exception of a few months where I slimmed down to 170 lbs (and that is *still* considered overweight by some people - I can show you the pictures. I looked like death warmed over) when I was 16, I've been a fat girl all of my life, endured endless "advice" (usually said to hurt, not help) from family and health professionals, nasty comments from acquaintances and ex-boyfriends (one guy said he broke up with me because I had put on weight! I was still pretty slinky at that time - it could not have entered my head why anyone would say that but Mark, if you are out there, you weren't all that great in bed, pencildick!) and co-workers. I am sick of girls talking about Weight Watchers and Points, low-fat food and "losing a few kilos". I swear, continental girls are the WORST. I knew this one girl from Belgium who would gleefully recount how "fat" she used to be and how she managed to lose weight by not eating any more Belgian frites. Well, she's back in Louvain now and my guess is that in a few years' time, she'll put on the weight again, PLUS interest. Smiggy, I hope you choke on your fucking points, darling.

So this is it then. I have had it. Fifteen years of battling the bulge have come to this then. I'd have been happier and healthier had people shut up when I was 16 and possibly a little less fat. Who knows? Or maybe it would end up the same. But at least, without the rude comments and mean behavour, it would have saved me a lot of heartache and nastiness.

As it stands now, I'm happily married. I can't believe my luck. And I've been living a pretty good life too. I've travelled and gotten to know fantastic and amazingly talented people. I've visited exotic and sometimes glamourous locations. AND I've got a damned good CV. What more can I possibly ask for?

Just one thing from you. SHUT UP AND EAT!