Woke up this morning at 06:00 from a bizarre dream about a friend of mine from back home, someone I used to work with. Ted is a lonely soul, a tall stringbean of humanity who makes one think of the engineer's version of Elwood Blues. He talks like him too. In this dream, I was supposed to have him over for a meal. I watched as he fixed the plumbing in my basement bathroom. All this was supposed to be part of a weird courtship ritual. My friends were trying to set me up.

The night before I dreamed some guy who reminds me strongly of someone I knew back in CEGEP was trying to go out with me...

It's as if my mind is playing some sort of unconscious Memory Lane vignettes mixed with "what if" scenarios. What if I hadn't met my husband. What if I had stayed in Montreal.

I used to be riddled with what-if Angst. I use the past tense because I no longer suffer from it. I'm happily married. Being happily married means being content. Not caring about all the other little niggling aspects of your life, and knowing that as long as you have your health and your man, everything else is just icing. It's not to say that there isn't room for improvement in your life... it's just that you're not constantly wearing the work overalls and fretting over minor matters.