Pop! Goes the Weasel...

All around the cobbler’s bench

The monkey chased the weasel

The monkey thought ‘twas all in good fun

Pop! Goes the weasel

Newsflash! The Weasel (that's the previously mentionned Squid-named-David-who-did-fuck-all-at-work) has finally weaselled out of this job. He was escorted out of the building last night just before 6 as he handed in his badge. His laptop is going to this frigid blonde French woman from another complex who’s just joined our team. We’ve also got three new recruits and I am moving to a new desk, a little closer to the main group (goodbye total privacy… but then again, my cubicle mate is a team leader who I get along with famously and who is actually taller than me! Fancy that…

Darling husband is in Amsterdam and I am still lusting after hunky Flemish guy across the way. He flirts irreverently with me whenever he gets the chance. One time I was sat across from him on the train and was closing my eyes and fantasizing about sex (oddly, not with him… just reliving old memories…) He demanded to know what I was thinking about and I was frank. He couldn’t shut up during the whole train ride – which was longer than usual owing to the fact that the rail signal failed and left us stranded somewhere near Langbank for an hour.

“Can I just quietly think about sex for five minutes solid, please?”

“I just wanna be involved, is all,” pouts Zoolander.

“Too late! You had your chance last May before the wedding. Now I’m a respectable woman.”

He was nonplussed.

“I did?”

“Yes.”

“You have to tell me these things. I can’t guess.. You have to come up to me and say, ‘Zoolander, let’s have sex.’”

“Sorry. Next time I’ll send it in skywriting.”

And that is the measure of our conversations these days. He’s no idea just how serious I can be at this dangerous game but… I don’t think that I will. After last year’s debacle with that horrid French boy, and earlier with that Ukrainian stick figure who kissed and tried to seduce my husband, I’m definitely NOT going that route. Besides, if we both decide to flirt with others, it’s fine. If it goes a bit further, I’d rather it be in controlled circumstances. But not yet. Better break into this marriage first and explore ALL of our options as a monogamous couple. Oh yes, I have a few more tricks up my sleeve to spruce up our already spicy sex life. Practice practice practice! And there is possible sproglet to think about.

Got my period again. Honestly, it’s like playing the lottery, except you’re not sure if you’ve won or lost, no matter what the outcome is.